-- Surah Muzzammil up to the last Ayaat --
To the Long Aayat (9 Miles) -- 10/30/16
PSN Gate 3 - Sai Baba - Graphite India - Back roads (Dodanekundi area)
to Outer Ring Road, Marathahalli: 0:41:59
Outer Ring Road - Along dying Mahadevpura Lake - Mahadevpura Road -
To Main Road: 0:19:00
Main Road to Hoodi (past Phoenix Mall, Decathlon) -
Hoodi train station (on the quays) -
Sadarmangala - Rail Tracks: 0:32:12
Mileage: 9 Miles - 14.5 Km
Time: 1:33:11
Pace: 10'21"/mile
Wght: 69.3 kg / 152.7 lbs
As often, I had projected to do something mellow and well known,
like running laps around the BasavanaNagar lake, but as soon as
I'm out, it becomes clear that I want to explore something new.
Already getting tired of the roads to the North, I decide instead
for the more urban Marathahalli side, to see how long it would take
to make it that way to KRPuram.
My body and mind aren't fully waking up, but running at a very
comfortable pace, I let it come. I am still learning Surah Muzzammil.
I have confirmed my knowledge up to the last ayaat, and decide to venture
further out, into the last and final ayaat which is extraordinarily long.
In some ways, the learning mirrors my run, venturing further into
the unknown.
I soon reach the Outer ring road, not sure how it will be to proceed
to the North (but ready to run on the highway if I have to). But
a new large overpass is under construction, and I can safely run
along it, especially since traffic is nil on this Sunday Diwali
morning. I come across one very aggressive dog, but no problem.
I pass the tech parks, a looming Wells Fargo building, and a
large construction site which sadly seems to have condemned yet another
Bangalore lake. I soon reach the Bimal dealership and the turnoff
under the bridge which I've driven a few times, which allows me
to reach the familiar Mahadevpura area.
There are many roads along the way that would venture further
out, which I hope to explore in the future - although the future
is so uncertain that it's hard to make plans. Reason sets in,
and I return through the familiar Hoodi / Sadarmangala way,
crossing this time over the quays at Hoodi station, like most
people do (it is very easy).
I complete the run quite happy, good progress on the Surah.
These runs will be the last hurrah before the operation, and beyond
that, who knows?
Our blessed mood has thankfully not changed, Allah ka Fazl.
Although not quite as miraculous as last Sunday, I continue on the same
vein, with a high degree of awareness and acceptance. The operation
will probably take place in three weeks.
-- New Construction in BasavanaNagar --
-- MahadevPura Lake, killed by construction --
-- Elaruvi early morning, trying to ambush the peacocks --
After the Hike to the Mountain Village (7.7 Miles) -- 11/02/16
Wednesday 11/02/16 --
Through Hoodi itself - Ayappa Nagar - Kodigehalli - Belathur Rd. -
Shakti Fairmont Shortcut - Along the Tracks Sadaramangala - ITPL.
Mileage: 7.7 Miles / 12.4 Km
Time: 1:17:16
Pace: 10'02"/mile
Wght: 69.9 kg / 154.1 lbs
-- Spiders along the Mountain Trail --
We were in Elaruvi over Diwali weekend, and yesterday, Shazia,
Shabaz, Sofia and I went climbing the mountain trail that leads
to the small hamlet of Kilanur. This time, we left early enough,
and the November temperature is much more tolerable then on previous
hikes. Clouds regularly temper the dhoup, making the ascent
pleasant. The trail starts quite steep, until it reaches
a slight dip that opens to a beautiful view of the jungle mountains
over Elaruvi, and the stream that creates the seven waterfalls
from which the village derives its name (unfortunately usually dry
nowadays). There, we pause to admire the many large spiders sitting
on their extended webs, apparently floating in the sky.
Some time later, the jungle trail levels a bit, before
opening to unexpected farmlands, producing a sort of Land of Oz
effect. We soon reach the little hamlet, much busier than last time
as today is not a holiday in Tamil Nadu. We discover a tiny shop
(which hardly sells anything at all, and not the cold drinks or ice
creams the children were craving for), and a small school where
Shabaz, outgoing as usual, goes mingle with the children in uniform.
Shazia, for whom this is the first hike in a mountain, is delighted,
easily walking the trail in spite of her frail build. On the way back,
we surprise a superb male peacock on the trail, which not particularly
impressed by our presence lazily disappears into the bush.
This morning, after waking up at 4am, I read Surah Furq'an at
length, impressed by its dark tone,
followed by the
classic Burooj/Tariq/A'ala/Ghashiya namaaz.
The sun rises to a nice cool morning weather, and there is no
meeting after the long weekend. So I prolong the run a little,
mostly to give me time on these familiar roads to
continue learning the last long Aayat from Surah Muzzamil.
-- On the upper plateau, near Kilanur --
Beyond Old Madras Road (12.3 Miles) -- 11/07/16
PSN back gate - Maidam - Kodigehalli - Belathur Road - Montfort School -
Big Lake - Old Madras Road at Seegehalli Intersection: 0:37:59
Across Old Madras Road, to the North - Medahalli Rd. - Past impressive
temple - St Gaspar Church and Ashram - KithiGanur - East Point
College of Engineering: 0:21:28
Back same way to Old Madras Road: 0:21:21
Back same way - Through Kodigehalli - Sadarmangala - ITPL: 0:46:36
Mileage: 12.3 miles - 19.8 km
Time: 2:07:25
Pace: 10'21"/mile
Wght: 69.9 kg / 154.1 lbs
After incident yesterday. My hand hurts so much at night I fear it
might be broken and go to doctor. But after night of frequent icings
and intermittent sleep, I wake up fine in the morning, and after reading
more of Surah Na'hl, execute my exciting long run plan after all. Yesterday
(Sunday), I postponed this long run because RUksanna woke up, and decided
to offer her my morning. But I had staunchly resolved to run this
long exploratory run today instead. Hence my frustration with the
stupid hand situation! But it seems fine, and I take the chance.
I was going to leave at 6, but spend a little time with Ruksanna till
6:30. That's actually a good thing, as I realize the PSN back gate
does not open till then (I have to wait a few minutes). It's a beautiful
somewhat chilly winter-like morning. I can feel my hand, but no
excessive pain. I first clear the familiar portion to Old Madras Road via
the big lake while continuing to advance in the last long Aayat of
Surah Muzzammil. As I arrive, greeted by a barking dog that
gets quite close, as I submit him with gentle authority, making
people smile. Past the highway, it's into the unknown.
A village setting, road extremely muddy. A man peacefully drinking his
tea in front of a half destroyed building. The road is under construction.
A surprisingly elaborate temple, whose architecture stands out as a
monument, although I won't find its name. Later, Gaspar church, covent
and "shopping center", on the gate, a naive painting of Gaspar del Bufalo.
The road becomes increasingly rural, overlooking a large Maidam, then
passing through the little village of KithiGanur (from where another
road heads to the West), a village structured around a main temple.
Past that, nature takes over, fields, forests and sporadic houses.
I reach a bigger structure, the "East Point College of Engineering",
which provides a good landmark to turn back.
I have interrupted my Qur'anic study in this new exciting land, but
resume it again after crossing the highway again, back in familiar
territories. I would like to finish learning Surah Muzzammil before
the surgery.
-- Morning Chai --
-- Cemetery in Belathur --
Mahler Symphony No. 6 (8.2 Miles) -- 11/10/16
Through Hoodi Rail Station - Kodigehalli Road - Belathur -
to Hoskote/Kadugodi rd: 0:48:59
Kadugodi - Sadarmangala - ITPL: 0:33:42
Time: 1:22:41
Mileage: 8.2 Miles - 13.2 Km
Pace: 10'05"/mile
Wght: 69.3 kg / 152.8 kg
No morning meeting today. I wake up at 5, which feels late. Finally,
finally, I feel rested!
The morning passes, between Qur'an reading and Namaaz, and I'm
not sure I'll run much. I plan to hurry to work to allow me to write,
since as often I feel oppressed by the accumulation of unfinished
entries.
But the morning... It's a crisp wintery morning, not exactly
cold but clear. I go through the Hoodi train station itself this time
(rather than the underpass), taking a small trail which turns out
to be like a public toilet, next time, I'll just run on the platform
like everyone else! I soon start prolonging the run, from what should
be a 1/2 hour run to 1 hour, and use the time to further my learning
of Surah Muzzammil. And then the 1/2 hour turns into 1.5 hours as I
push all the way to Belathur, as if dragged on by the morning
mist, and emboldened now to learn further into the Surah.
Somehow, reaching work, the violence of the recent events has
epitomized into an unexpected reaction: Mahler's 6th Symphony. It
imposes itself out of nowhere, compelling me to listen to it
as soon as I reach my desk, nearly losing my mind under its rhythmed
assault. It has been said that it exemplifies the 20th century's first half,
sad to see that it does the 21st as well.
And fortified by this, my writing finally comes, like a torrent,
as initially planned....
Later in the day, we learn of the temporary closure of the DDU... We will
no longer work for Dreamworks. Good riddance in my book!
-- Morning in Belathur --
-- The long awaited update !!! --
OCI Card (7.85 Miles) -- 11/13/16
PSN Gate 3 - EPIP - Through Windmills Shortcut -
BasavanaNagar: 0:24:50
3 laps around the lake: 0:27:00
Petrol Bunk - Hoodi - Through the station - Sadaramangala: 0:29:36
Mileage: 7.85 Miles [5.35 + (3 * 0.83)]
Time: 1:21:27
Pace: 10'22"/mile
Wght: 69.2 kg / 152.5 lbs
It has been a rare collusion of events, each day seemingly
bringing its share of news.
After the shock of Trump's election, we learn on Thursday
that Dreamworks will abandon the DDU. But a miraculous last
minute deal allows us to continue on as part of Technicolor.
Still, the threat continues to increase. Of all these news,
even couting that of the cancer, nothing worries me more than
the delay in obtaining the OCI card. It has been eight months
(instead of the theoritical 1.5), and about three months since
the visit of the Home Ministry, and no news at all. With work
being threatened, and international politics dramatically worsening,
there is nothing that I fear more than being expelled from India
and forced to separate from Ruksanna. We honestly don't know
what we would do.
Consulting the OCI website has been daily so disappointing
(always this "UNDER PROCESS" status) that I have disciplined
myself to only open it on Fridays, Jumah ka din. So today, after
learning of the near closure of the DDU but my quasi-miraculous
saving, I open it once more, ready for another slap on the face.
My Namaaz has been extraodinarily intense this morning, reciting
Surah Yaseen, and yesterday at Ishaa, while reciting Surah Qadr,
I wondered whether it would have the power to unlock the situation,
humrously thinking though that the "night of the decree" would
have no power on these people who work only during the day.
But here it is. A few new lines have appeared on the website,
after months of inaction. It looks like the card has been
PROCESSED.
As anticipated, with utter abandonment, I fall in tears and
laugh, like a madman. Ruksanna cry together like this on the phone,
between us, obstacles eliminated one after the other, what could
separate us?
I hope no one has heard this frenzy from outside my office
door...
Yesterday evening, Ruksanna massaged my body with a
garlic oil(!) that she makes herself, so that I could
sleep well. And indeed, I do sleep well! Wake up at 5 instead
of the usual 4, read into Surah Bani Israel followed by Namaaz.
I get ready to run, to cap one of my biggest running weeks
in a long time.
But Ruksanna has awaken, and as usual, I offer my best
morning hours.
We walk around Shantiniketan like we often do. A group
of boudis is also walking around, singing and clapping
their hands. But I keep being interrupted by an urge to pee,
so after each round, we have to climb back up to the appartment!
Not repeating last week's mistake, I nevertheless adamantly
stick to my running plan, leaving Ruksanna to venture outside.
First stop is by ITPL, on the toilet wall in Pattandur
to pee yet again! A little later, I run across Basuraj (our
former bodyguard who now works security in one of the
tech parks). Then, I execute my plan of laps around the
BasavanaNagar lake, but today is a day where running is bad,
the body doesn't move, breath doesn't breathe, and I feel
sore seemingly everywhere, after a particularly intense weak.
This would normally dissipate, but today it doesn't.
My pace at the age of 51 seems to have settled in the 10'/mile
range, and I do nothing to correct it.
Regardless, I am running mostly as a pretext to write
this blessed entry, and to further study Surah Muzzammil, which
really speaks to me.
After the lake, I return through the main road to Hoodi.
On the way, I notice a group of chairs that have been arranged
on the street outside a bank. There are people waiting there,
presumably since early in the morning, waiting for the bank
to open at 10 in the hopes of getting cash, following the
government's retirement of 500 and 1000 bills. What a situation,
we ourselves have no cash left, living only on our debit cards.
Yesterday, I had gone to Naryana Hospital where on top of this
the card machines broke down. I wasn't able to give money so
they sent me to the doctor for free. Behind me, a gounda
looking guy was fighting with the receptionnist, having heard
that hospitals would still take 1000 rs bills. The receptionnist
patiently explained that it was for government hospitals only,
and even handed him over a newspaper article. But the guy
continued to fill up his admission sheet as if this hadn't
happened, menacing in Kannada. As for me, I was supposed to
follow this up with a blood test, but I gave up. I'll have
to come back on Monday.
Of the avalanche of recent news, receiving the OCI
card is the most determining, the only one to cause me
tears. I feel completely liberated, as if accepted in
the favor of Allah. It has been a very hectic week, which
I've supplemented with a particularly rigorous training
regimen, in a way energized by the onslaught. This can
also be taken as a last Hurrah before the surgery,
like a last long run before tapering down for a Marathon.
Shouldn't I rest now preemptively? And who knows for how
long I will be impacted?
-- "Recite what is easy for you from the Qur'an",
from Surah Muzzammil --
Surah Muzzammil -- 11/18/16
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tuesday 11/15/16 -- Surah Muzzammil -
Hoodi (station) - Sadarmangala.
Mileage: 3.15 Miles - 5.05 Km
Time: 0:31:44
Pace: 10'04"/mile
Wght: 69.7 kg / 153.6 lbs
Another mini-meldown yesterday, a little stronger.
Visit of Techinicolor / Mikros, not a minute in the day to nap.
Perhaps food, end of day, feeling queezy, exhausted, sore and feverish.
Nevertheless went to Naryana on the way for blood test in prep for MRI.
Then went home and stayed in bed, shivering, soon, gallons of sweat.
But in the morning I feel good. Because of all this, I have skipped
all but Fajr ki Namaaz yesterday. This morning, Surah Yaseen, then,
on the short run, finish learning Surah Muzammil. I feel much better.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wednesday 11/16/16 -- BasavanaNagar route
Time: 0:45:54
Mileage: 4.65 Miles - 7.5 Km
Pace: 9'52"/mile
Wght: 69.7 kg / 153.6 lbs
Another pleasant run, feeling pretty sharp. Continued work on Surah Muzzammil. Then went to Manipal for MRI / CT Pet Scan.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday 11/18/16 -- Surah Muzzammil
Hoodi - Ayappa Nagar - Kodigehalli - Sadarmangala (over the tracks)
Mileage: 5.8 Miles - 9.3 Km
Time: 0:59:24
Pace: 10'14"/mile
Wght: 69.3 kg / 152.8 kg
Excellent run, at this easy pace, "effortless". Morning fog
and freshness. Up at 3:30, Qur'an finished Surah Yunus,
good Surah Yaseen. Trying to confirm Surah Muzzammil along the
way, the last sentences.
Later, we get results from MRI / Pet Scan. They are positive,
seem to indicate that as hoped the cancer has not spread beyond
the Prostate.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-- The last long Aayat of Surah Muzzammil --
-- Shantiniketan, early morning --
Before the Surgery (6.8 Miles) -- 11/20/16
In Shantiniketan -
Time: 1:08:09
Estimated Pace: 10'00"/mile
Estimated Mileage: 6.8 Miles
Wght: 69.4 kg / 153 lbs
The date for the surgery as been set for this Thursday.
On this last weekend. But anestheliogist said yesterday
not too fall sick, and Ruksanna dissaproves. Ziddi want to
run, find the solution during Namaaz. I'll just stay inside
Shantiniketan. It's likely that going outside would have
been weird anyway. Satisfied with this compromise, I head out
before sunrise.
Surah Muzzammil. But my heart isn't into it at first.
Run where Ruksanna and I normally walk, but wander around.
Not motivated, I finally settle for the cricket field where
I finally find some rhythm, and a better study of the Surah,
whose last few sentences continue to resist my memory. I join
Ruksanna back according to plan as she has just waken up.
-- Shantiniketan, early morning --
-- The Stay at Manipal Hospital --
Surgery -- 11/24/16
We slept at the hospital last night. The bed is too small, yet
Ruksanna lays for some time at my side, then, because she doesn't
like the couch that is too far from me, she sleeps on the ground,
right by the bed. The nurses will try to persuade her to move from
there as it hampers their access, but she won't leave her position,
at my side. She herself has caught a bad cold, and sleeps wrapped
up in layers of clothing, completely covered indian style,
in spite of the stuffy heat of the room.
In the morning, the wait starts, punctuated by the occasional
visits from the nurses. We share the room with some Hindi baat
karne valle who keep calling the nurses, and I wonder if I should
do the same, as the scheduled hour of 11am is approaching and we've
had no news at all. I am not allowed to eat or drink, but the lack
of coffee has given me a horrible headache, nearly a migraine, which
blocks my emotions. We finally convince the nurse to give me something,
which she does by IV. The wait continues.
But around 12, things seem to accelerate. I am made to wear a
wristband which for some reason makes it feel like the operation
is imminent. But just at that moment, a woman in Saree asks Ruksanna
to go make further payments downstairs, as we were not able yesterday
to charge the whole fee on the credit card. I give her the code of my
card on a paper (which she'll eat) as hers didn't work yesterday,
instruct her how to find the admission desk downstairs, and send her down.
But I immediately regret it. What if they come take me now? What if
she gets lost or can't handle the admissions desk, which she know
how to take a token, etc.?
And sure enough, the nurses come back to prepare for my transfer.
Luckily, only a few moments later, Ruksanna returns. She has by-passed
the whole system and made the payment quickly.
I am installed on a wheelchair. We are on the seventh floor,
will need to go all the way down. As the separation from Ruksanna
approaches, I find that emotion has finally gained me. I struggle
to contain tears, deep from my chest. Ruksanna threatens to hit me.
I can't speak. My mind is too ebullent for a proper recitation,
but for some reason, the short Takbir, recited before Eid
ki Namaaz, imposes itself as a leitmotiv, offering some relief.
I let myself be rolled to the elevators, where we
wait for some time, strangely away from the door. I try my best,
but my face has escaped my control, starting to tremble in odd places,
my brow, then the right side of my chin, I feel like playing a game
of whack-a-mole on myself as I try to control the various
parts of my features. We enter the elevator. Ruksanna is at my side
and I gather enough courage to tell her I can't speak or even look
at her face, focusing on the dull metal wall instead. We're out
in the busy lobby, in a corridor. We're headed for two metal doors,
as we pass, I feel them closing, suddenly realising this is where
Ruksanna and I will be separated. I turn back to see her indeed
stopped, disappearing behind, articulate a poignant goodbye and
immediately turn again to face the anesthesia ward.
I am laid on a bed. The wait resumes, and the dreadful head-ache
has resumed. I manage to recite mentally all of Surah Yaseen. I must
have fallen half asleep for some time, as I suddenly realise I am alone.
I have no idea how much time has elapsed, and imagine Ruksanna's
anxious prolonged wait outside, with no news. Finally, I am rolled
in to the next thing, another corridor rhythmed by impressive metal
doors like safes. We enter one of those to the theater of operation,
it looks all filmic to me, the machinery, the bustling group of doctors,
the green color. I notice in the corner the robot that will
operate on me, slightly outside of the pool of light as if to not
threaten, a big metal chest wich seemingly a thousand arms, still
wrapped in plastic. I am told to breath into an oxygen mask which
will start to put me to sleep while the anasthetic takes effect.
I take deep breaths, but feel nothing at all, wondering if I'll indeed
fall asleep, as the pain is indeed starting to spread into my arm.
I wake up in a room similar to the waiting room earlier.
Someone must have talked to me. I immediately ask, as in a reflex,
has someone informed my wife? The person reassures me and leaves
my bed. But I feel a strong need to pee, doubled with a strong
back discomfort. I am convinced that I need to go urinate right
away, and attempt to wiggle around to ease the back pain, which
must of come from laying flat for so long. The position is nearly
intolerable, and yet I'm not sure that I can move. Someone comes
and reassures me that all urine has been drained, shows me the pouch
at my side. I gradually calm down, although the discomfort is still
painful. The doctor orders for pain-killers. I accept my state,
probably as my mind is continuing to clear from anesthesia.
After another wait, I am transferred to another bed and rolled
again through the corridors. We soon reach an elevator again.
I wonder where I'll find Ruksanna, longing for her. How long
has it been, I have no idea. I tilt my head back a little and
from under, see her face. She was standing with me in the elevator,
at the head of the bed, her hand seizes mine.
Ruksanna!